Saturday, 30 July 2011

How did I manage to reach this milestone?

For those that have followed my blog from the start, you will already know that I suffer very badly with depression, got in a rut of sitting around and not going out and losing all interest in looking after myself, which has then resulted with problems with my feet/ankles/back and putting on over 5 stone of weight.  Even with all this going on I have reached a very important milestone in my life, with just the help of some wonderful friends and no interaction with my family.

The 29th July 2010 was the day that I had my last drinking binge which then resulted in a drug overdose, it made me look at myself and ask what the hell I was doing.  It has been a hard struggle to not drink but I just knew if I thought I could sneak in a glass of wine one evening that it would not end there, so I banned myself from buying any alcohol, unless I was out socially and knew that I would be coming home to no bottles anywhere in the house.

As I mentioned earlier I suffer with really bad feet/ankles and also my back so the doctor put me on repeat prescription for co-codomal, which normally knock your socks off but I got to the stage where taking 6 at a time had no effect, I told her Monday to remove these from my repeat prescription as I was misusing them.

The last month has been very emotional in work and at home, so much so that I even took 4 days holiday to completely chill and take some time for me.  My beloved Angel became very ill, the vet said there was a high probability she had FIP or Lymphoma, they wanted to do more tests but she had already had blood taken, been on a drip and I felt this was stressing her out even more.  I insisted that they give me some medication and I would treat her at home, in that time I took her to another vet who said high probability that it was Leukemia.  I was in pieces, Angel had just turned 5 and I was not ready to say goodbye to her yet but she looked so thin and slept so much.

I am pleased to say with her being fed very special food, sometimes by hand, syringing water into her little mouth and giving her lots of love she started to turn a corner.  Her temperature returned to normal, she started being more like herself and her energy came back, she is still very thin but I am still feeding her the special food to build her back up again.

I have also joined Slimming World as I just cannot seem to stay on track to lose weight and feel that having the pressure of being weighed I will be more determined to suceed, also I am very competitive so I want to be the biggest lose every week in a more positive way!  The first meeting was last Thursday, I got to the car park and nearly drove out again, I got to the door and wanted to run but I went in, I was very emotional but held it together, well that was until the very end when everyone was going and I signed up and stepped on the scales.

I am going to put in here how much I weighed as I want to be able to look back and see how I have done, the display read 15st 4.5lbs, I burst into tears with disgust at how I had left myself get to this stage, I was always around 8st before my head op and then after fluctuated between 9st & 10st.  Carrie, the Slimming World host gave me a hug and said how proud she was of me even going, I drove home in tears and told myself I did this to me and only I can change it.  I also took my measurements which goes in my progress book, again I was shocked 48" 45" 54", I only used to be a size 32A, no wonder I cant bend over with those bazookers getting in the way!!!!

We have also had more visitors coming into the garden, I think Chino has been spreading the word that it is a safe haven, luckily though they like living wild so I am happy to lend them my shed to have a nap!

We have, however, got a new addiction to our lovely family which was not planned!  I popped into Pets at Home to get Angel her special food and just saw the most adorable bunny rabbit, looking at me, all lost and lonely.  In the other enclosures there were lots of rabbits but this poor little thing was all on her own, I just knew straight away she belonged with us.

I really felt that we deserved it after the trauma of Angel and me reaching my milestone, what better way to celebrate and give a little animal a forever home, also the cats share a birthday all within 2 weeks of each other so I felt they deserved a new friend to love and play with.  I have called her Poppy as her hutch is called Poppy's Den and I think it really suits her, as the weather is so lovely I have treated her to a Rabbit run, but it is flat packed so I had better go and put it together for her so she can have a run around whilst I crochet.

Shellie B x

1 comment:

  1. That's good news about Angel! I hope she continues to get better and put back on the weight!

    And I hope you are successful at Slimming World at being the biggest loser! Lol!

    You're being really positive and doing really great considering you have no family behind you! If you ever need a pep talk to keep you going then you know I am never far from twitter!

    Jean-Mary X


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