A bit Sketchy

Never one for being content, I always like to set myself new challenges, the biggest one this year so far has been my job but thankfully that is all settling down now and I seem to be getting respect from all levels throughout the business.  I am known for finding bugs in the software, my boss thinks its great but the poor developers feel a bit upset that they are there, CEO is amazed none of them have been found before.  Those of you that know me I am like a dog with a bone and test the hell out of things to make sure they work before I give the go ahead for it to be used.  Even D is now asking for my help and we are quite often found sitting huddled round a PC working through problems together, we are even known to have a right laugh at work now, such a great place to work, how many offices can you play ineundo bingo involving the directors?????

Last year whilst I was not fit to work I challenged myself to learn cross-stitch and crochet, both I managed after a few tantrums and now I want to push myself even more so have started to learn how to sketch, my first picture is below.............and yes I am learning how to sketch cats lol

Not bad for 1st attempt, hopefully its obvious that its a cat!!!!  Feeling quite motivated I then sketched some more and tried different pencils to get a variety of shading effects

I even took my sketchpad into work and sat round the lake at lunchtime

Finally I tried to sketch from a photograph of Tiffany, I definately need much more practise but my aim is to be able to sketch from pictures and then to learn Water Colouring, I hope you will come back to see how I progress and hopefully improve

Shellie B

Shaking of hands and crossing fingers

Well I put a brave face on today and went into work, got there about 7.30am as I was wide awake, my boss dropped in on his way to the station and thanked me for coming in, D walked in about 8.15am and ignored me so I made a point of saying hello to break the ice.

My boss had already informed me that the Managing Director was travelling from Wales to be in the office as no management would be in, what he didnt say was that he was coming to try and sort the situation out.  It was my turn first to say what I thought and believe me I did, then I went and got D so they could both have a chat, then I was called in.

MD had a little speech about how we need to work together etc etc, how we have to be prepared to listen to explanations, ask for help etc, this is all I have ever wanted then to my surprise D actually apologised to me and very sincerely, I think what happened last night made him realise how tough I was finding his behaviour, I also think his wife gave him bit of a talking to about it all.

So we all shook hands and today has been amazing, I have carried on as usual, have been watching how I have been asking or answering anything but D has been coming to me for help, we have been joking and laughing, he made me 2 cups of coffee.  What has made me so happy is that he has asked for my help 1st thing tomorrow as he does not know much about Excel and he is struggling to do something, as I normally get there just after 8am and so does D we are going to work together before 9am, this is a 1st for D on all levels.

So fingers crossed that this is the start of a new professional and respectful partnership, oh and to make my day even more perfect I received a holiday present from the most wonderful couple in the world, Mr Ian Lawrence and Mrs Karen Lawrence, friends that I truly value and hope to know for the rest of my life, isn't it just lovely and looks so much like my Abigail:

 Shellie B

Do I not deserve good things in my life?

Well I knew it couldnt last, whenever I love something, put my heart and soul into it, it always comes to an abrupt end and so it has happened again, I tried not to get too involved with it all but I was so in my element and loved the variety I just couldnt help it.

What am I referring to you all ask................my job.  I have not been this heartbroken for a long long time but after biting my tongue for so long regarding a work colleague and then having our 2nd sit down with a manager present, I just cannot see things improving so I have resigned.  They said it would have to be escalated and the Managing Director would have to make a decision, so I have done that for them, I was last in so I should be the first to go.

What bought all this on you ask?  My colleague and fellow Account Manager just cannot communicate with me, he does not seem capable of offering the correct support to my clients, will not tell me when he is dealing with any of my clients, which incidently I copy him into every email I respond to on his behalf and email him a note if I have helped someone over the telephone, can he do this for me NO and I believe the reason he wont is because he knows he cant help them.

Example 1: client rang up who should only be able to view 2 areas within the business to manage with, they could see everyone, did he know what to do?  NO, did he ask me? NO he called the guy in Ireland who isnt familiar with the account!    He has been with the company for 9 months, I  have been with the company 1.5 months, do I know my accounts inside out? NO  As soon as I searched for the customer I could see they had TWO admin profiles set up on the account, 1 correctly and 1 incorreclty, SIMPLE but could he see that NO!  I called the customer back, explained what had happened, got him to log in again, all hunky dory.

Example 2: client rang up as could not log into system, they forwarded the email to him with the link on, this person worked for Company B and a link from the email took them to Company A, could he work this out, NO but he did send her the correct link so at least she could log in this time.  So I asked the email to be forwarded to me, it was a request for a new password, obviously as she could not log in she thought she had forgotten the password.  I contacted the customer to enquire how she initially got to that Link, she had it set in her favourites which means next time she uses the system she will get the same problem and be very frustrated, the said person is a PA to someone very high up in that company.  So I asked for her to delete the link in her favourites and sent her the correct link to save instead, SIMPLE.

Does any of the above sound difficult to anyone? would you need lengthly training to know how an account worked?  Am I being too harsh when I honestly (in our open discussion meeting) said I didn't want him dealing with any of my accounts as he doesnt do enough investigation into the actual ROOT problem, ask me if he doesnt know and does not then let me know they called or needed support.

I tried so hard to be open in the meeting so that we could try and get some kind of working relationship going but after being called Silver Tongued, talked over with a raised voice (even the director had to ask him to lower his voice) and raising their eyes to the ceilng everytime I spoke, I just could not take anymore.

I loved my job so much, I have achieved so much in the short time I have been there, I have won round 2 accounts that were on the verge of leaving and even got an order worth £4.5K out of one of them which everyone was gobsmacked about, well apart from you know who.

It was never my intention to go in and cause any friction or push anyone out of a job, I have just gone in and been conscientious, hardworking, passionate, helpful and maybe a bit too nurturing over my own accounts, but I am not going to apologise for my work ethics, I pride myself so much on the quality of my work but I can only take so much from someone who will not work with me or ridicules me for working extra hours, I just hope my fellow colleagues will be truthful if questioned about certain things.

I was hoping by putting all this on my blog it would help me put everything in perspective but I just cant stop crying, this was my last chance to keep my home, car and belongs.  I am not sure where I go from here or how it will all turn out...................

Shellie B

Gardening and Sunday Sunshine

Its that time of the year again when the weeds have been growing at their hearts content, loving the rain, sun, rain and sun, if only I could grow pretty flowers as well as I can grow weeds.

Those that know me know that I normally wait until about September when the Garden is overgrown to do anything about it but after my mammoth revamp of the house and garden last year I decided to start early, hopefully that it will be easier to keep on top off it all.  I started on the front garden as this is what everyone who comes to my house sees, here are some before and after photos.

I seem to have to this stuff that is like a huge spider and branches out all over the place, its easy to pick out but there is so much of it, I still have lots do to on the main bit but my hands and back have given up on me and I still have the ironing to do, not bad though for me as I normally can only manage a very small bit at a time.

Tiffany, Angel and Abigail did venture out to see what I was up to, Angel decided to hide in the recyle bin, Tiffany kept watch at the gate to make sure no rubbish came flying in and Abigail helped flatten the weeds!!!!!!!

Shellie B

New Glasses, Angiomas and Confessions

After starting my new job and having a new funky hairstyle, I thought it was time to get my eyes checked as I have been getting alot of headaches and also my eyes stream quite a lot and I get pain behind my left eye, going for my check up I got more than I bargain for!!!!

Firstly I do have to commend Specsavers on the wonderful checks they do on your eyes, I went for an eye test and also a check up for getting new contact lenses, I have never seen so much machinery for eyes and even though I was getting fed up of being there so long, I am now very grateful for the time and care they took on checking my eyes.

When using the ophthalmoscope to examine the retina at the back of the eyes they have found part of my retina missing and 2 "spots" at the back of my left eye, they asked me to go back to have some drops put in to dilate my pupil so they could have a closer look.  I went back the next Saturday when collecting my new glasses and they confirmed what they had originally seen, they referred me to MK General hospital to be seen the next week.

I had my appointment on Thursday, I was there for over 2 hrs and by the end of the appointment I still have no idea what is behind my eye as I saw a "Triage" doctor who I found very unprofessional, out of his depth and basically did not have a clue what he was looking at.  I am absolutely fuming that I was referred by my opticians to see a specialist and all I saw was a doctor with no specialist knowledge on eyes.

He told me I didnt need any treatment but confirmed that my Retina is deformed due to 2 "lumps" behind my eye, I asked what they were, he didnt know, I asked how he knew I wouldnt need treatment if he didnt know what they are, he couldnt answer me, I asked if they are to do with my condition, he has no knowledge of VHL or seen this in an eye so again did not know, I asked why I was seeing a doctor who had no specialist knowledge of eye problems, he told me to ask reception!  He told me I would need to be seen by a specialist in 2 weeks, I went to reception very frustrated, the girl with a serious "I dont give a shit and hate my job" attitude told me I would have to take the 21st April, which I cannot do as I have a training session at work to carry out, she then gave some more attitude back, picked up her ringing mobile phone and walked off.  I was so disgusted that I walked out.

To me it seems fairly obvious that whatever they are seeing is linked to my condition, Von Hippel Lindau, as this is common in 60% of people to get Angiomas of the Retina.  As I have been temping for the last 2 years I have struggled financially to get to Oxford to have my eyes checked so I blame myself for what is happening now, to be honest I thought that at the age of 43 I would be one of the 40% that do not get these, besides having a tumor on my brain, kidneys and pancreas was surely enough.

Extract from the Von Hippel Lindau handbook which is available for anyone to read, so you think maybe the Doctor who is not aware of this condition might have just looked it up to have more of an idea!!!

"When capillaries form angiomas, technically called hemangioblastomas, in the retina, they start out extremely small and difficult to see. The capillaries themselves are less than the diameter of a red blood corpuscle, one of the cells that make up the blood. When angiomas begin, they often grow around the equator or periphery of the retina, far away from the area of central vision. Unlike the equator drawn around the globe of the world, the equator of the eye is vertical. As you stand, draw a circle around your eye from eyebrow to nose and around. The circle you just drew is the equator. To see this area, your ophthalmologist or optometrist must dilate your eye, use high-powered magnifying lenses, and look from side angles. It is more than the usual eye examination. If there is VHL in your family, be sure to tell your ophthalmologist or optometrist so that he or she will be sure to do this thorough examination and find any small angiomas so that they can be treated in the early stages. A referral to a retinal specialist will be required for treatment of these tumors. Generally smaller lesions can be treated more successfully and with fewer complications than larger ones. Leakage or bleeding from angiomas can lead to serious vision damage or retinal detachment, so early treatment and careful management are very important"

I have not heard anything from MK General Hospital to make an appointment and I have left a message with my genetics clinic in Oxford, so now I just need to wait and see who contacts me first.  Due to the above I thought I had better speak to my boss about my condition, not something I was looking forward to as they might see it that I had been "deceptive" at my interview but I always say that if the question never comes up, then I dont offer to give them that information, as I do believe that it has gone against me in the past.

The chat went so much better than I expected and I feel like a real weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I am hoping that my work so far has impressed them and that they can see what value I can bring to the company, especially as I have found about 5 bugs in the software in my month and half of being there.

Shellie B