Tuesday, 11 January 2011

So much for being positive in 2011

Well I have no idea what is going on with me, I am sitting here crying like a baby and even though I have only just got up, I still feel exhausted, I am just fed up with how I look, feel and with life in general I think.

My Cruse counsellor has not been since 16th December, so I have not had any support to see me through Xmas and New Year period, part of me thinks I must of peed her off so much with all my crap that she doesnt want to bother with me, like lots of friends in the past have done.

I have been trying really hard to do my Crochet and am struggling again to pick up my hook and do anything, I am thinking of shutting down my Folksy shop as no Sales this year yet, I think it was just for the run up to Xmas that I sold anything anyway.

I have not walked Beauty, Laura's dog, for 2 days and that makes me feel so guilty as I am here with her during the day and have to look at her little sad puppy eyes and listen to her wining, on the plus side all the animals are getting on, my cats are comfortable around the dog now and so its all back to normal, few spats with Angel and Talim but I just think thats because Angel is so playful and scares the sh*t out of everyone!!!!

On another plus side my bed is being delivered tomorrow, fingers crossed, so at least I know I will have something to do tomorrow, as I plan to change the room around, try and put up curtain rail and buy some thin curtains as I already have blinds in the window, want to try and make it more relaxing and like a proper bedroom for me.

Well I feel better for getting my thoughts out in the open on my blog, just hope I have not made anyone think *for gods sake does all she ever do is winge"!

Shellie B


  1. Come on Shellie, you are not to blame for the Cruse counsellor not turning up. She is the one to apologise to you. Ring the office and ask if there is a problem. I bet she is poorly and they are short staffed, it is the time of year for bugs.
    I do not think you are always wingeing I just think you need more self esteem. Your videos are a perfect example of your talent.
    Your friends are all back to work now so that is more difficult. Don't start watching daytime tv as it is rubbish. I should know, I am off work for a couple of days and even a tv addict like me thinks it is hopeless, all reruns or reality. Luckily it is not my reality.
    Keep at it, you have been thro so much you can get thro this. Perhaps you could do the prep for your new room before the bed arrives?
    Keep smiling sunshine. :)

  2. Oh Shellie. It is very unprofessional of your counsellor not to have turned up or contacted you.
    I certainly don't think all you do is winge, you silly billy. Blogs are made for people to vent their feelings, I use mine to write down all my issues too!
    Don't close your shop!! You are so talented with your crochet, folksy has lulls in sales, you may go a few weeks without any orders, then have loads all in one go! Don't feel disheartened about it my love. In the mean time, why don't you get another cross stitch or something? You could make something to go on a cushion for your new bed? That'd be lovely!

    If the weather isn't too bad, try take the doggy for a little walk, doesn't have to be far, just going down the road and back again is enough for you both to get some fresh air!

    Your new meds will settle in soon and hopefully your mood will lift... But you've got to try MAKE yourself get up and do things too. I know that is easier said than done, believe me I know! I've been set a task by my counsellor to get up and out of bed by 11am. Maybe we can do tasks together, and check up on each other and encourage each other, what do you say?

    Take care my love xxx


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