Thursday, 9 February 2012

Back to square one!

Wow I cannot believe how long it has been since I last blogged, so much has gone on and I just have not found the will or words to put how I feel.

I got made redundant on the 31st December 2011 from the job that I absolutely loved, my health went downhill and I had to have various visits to the hospital and was put on extra drugs called Alpha Blockers, which are supposed to block the hormones the active pheo is secreting.  I did not work my last month as I was too stressed and both emotionally and physically exhausted, if my health had not gone downhill would I still have my job?

Once again I put my trust in alledged friends and once again I got badly burnt, Christmas was just non existant and I did not even put up any decorations, I took another overdose on the 2nd December, it was my last day at work and I felt I could handle a drink but I couldnt, hence the overdose.  My wonderful friend Andy came and spent New Years Eve with me and we had an evening of snacking and playing on the wii.

In the New Year I got involved with a search for 2 greyhounds that had been seen chucked from the back of a van and tied together, one only had 3 legs.  We never found the dogs and it is all very suspicious of what went on but I did however meet some really wonderful people and have now become involved in an animal rescue centre called NANNA.  I am on the committee and help out on site when I can and will also be responsible for the cats on the website and on the facebook page.

I have stroked a fox called Pancake who greets you with a wagging tail and making a funny but happy noise, such a beautiful animal but too tame to survive in the wild so will stay at NANNA's.  They also have sheep, horses, donkey, pigs, goats, geese, chickens, turkeys, dogs, cats, kittens, rabbits, ferrets, guinea pigs, ducks and a few more lovely animals.  I love going there to help out but after a couple of days, my energy levels crash and I have to have a couple of days rest.

My lodger announced he was leaving on Monday, no notice and owed 1 months rent money, as I am not working this has left me in a very difficult predicament and means that I cannot afford to get to NANNA's to help the animals and so my days seem worthless again, I struggle to get up or look after myself, if it was not for the cats and Poppy then I probably would not get up at all.

I should hear this week if the hospital are going to operate or not, I have asked them too as I cannot function how I am at the moment and due to my quality of life being affected I do not see why they will not do something, thing is I do not have much fight in me to keep on at them but will keep trying.

I am going to try and start my crochet again because even if I cannot get to help the animals by feeding and cleaning them out then at least I can help by making some blankets for them to keep them snuggly and warm.

Shellie B

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