Limbomas

Not sure what else to call the time between Xmas and New Year, the hype of xmas is all over and we then wait for the New Year to come in, some people have to work inbetween, which normally seems quite pointless as not much to do, while others are off, hopefully those who have some money can take advantage of the sales whilst others just sit around watching mundane tv and trying to get motivated.

Ok maybe that last bit describes me, I am looking forward to this year being over, it has to be the worst year since 1997/98, the year I lost my mum and then 4 months afterwards having a brain tumor removed, life changing events that did not catch up to me until about 5 years ago when I moved and became very isolated.

So now I have to think *how am I going to make 2011 work for me*, my initial thought was *its going to be the same old crap again* but if I think like that then it will and things will never change.  After my visit to the docs yesterday I have been signed off for a further 2 months, so this is my opportunity to straighten myself out and get ready for facing the working world again, infact to face the world again.

My bereavement counsellor never turned up on 22nd December and I have not heard from her since, as I seemed to have coped through anniversary of losing mum and xmas kind of on my own then maybe I dont really need her anymore, I did look forward to her visits as she was the only person who I saw but now I have my housemate I have company again.

New Years Resolutions, well I dont believe in them as they are just something you set for an excuse to break them, yes I need to lose weight etc but I am not going to set myself any targets as I will be doomed to fail, I will just do everything in my own stride so that I can succeed, all I am going to keep telling myself through 2011 is *think positive and be strong*.

I know that with the help of my twitter family, who do more for me than they will ever imagine, and my best friends Lynne and Andy I will not slip back down into the dark tunnel I have been hiding in for the last 5 years, so goodbye 2010, I will not say good riddance, (ok I just did), as I have been on a huge journey, learnt so much and have come out stronger, if I had not gone through the last year where would I be???

Shellie B