Winter Blues

Well I certainly have been suffering with some kind of blues, began after xmas really, could not get myself back into anything, even my crochet has suffered, then last week I just went right downhill and beyond, nothing anyone could say could bring me out of it, I very nearly turned to drink so I could blot out the days!

Think one of the things that tipped me over was that I had a facebook message from Laura saying she was moving out, now that hurt me as it made me feel I must be a really awful person as they did not feel comfortable saying anything face to face, also it has meant I cannot pay the bills that urgently need sorting out and the thought of coping on my benefits again frightened me.  Even in my gloom I did manage to re-advertise the room and have 3 potentials coming round today, so I have everything crossed.

On Sunday I decided that I couldnt go on like this, just wasting away in my own sorrow, not moving from the sofa day after day, I could feel all my muscles wasting away again and that made me even more down as I would look at myself and be disgusted, so, with the help of Laura, I put together a daily schedule and decided to start this from Monday.  It contains very simple things like when to get up, when to eat, planned activities like walking, reading, crafting etc but when you are so deep in depression you dont do these things for yourself and until I put this together I would never have thought it would have worked.

So I set my alarm so I wake up the same time every day and have started my walking again, I think my cats love it as that means I am up early so they get there breakfast at a reasonable time.  I feel so much better from my walks, even though my legs are really painful and I have a huge blister on my right foot but I am not going to give up.  My lovely cruse lady came today, she was burgled before xmas and lost all contact details so had not been able to get in touch to come and see me, but anyway we are back on track again and she has convinced me to open my Folksy shop again, which I have now done.

Today I achieved something that I have never done in my life before, I made some SOUP!!!!  Its a Chunky Vegetable Winter Energy Boosting Detox and even if I do say so myself it is absolutely scrummy, the amount I have made will do my lunches for the week. When I went to get the ingredients I couldnt remember what beans to get so used Cannellini beans instead, as these were already in my cupboard, I also did not put in the semi-sun dried tomatoes as I am a bit funny with cooked tomatoes, it doesn't look very appetising but believe me it is:

Here is the recipe if any of you would like to try it:

1.5tbsp Olive Oil                                 
1 Large Onion - sliced
3 Celery sticks, Sliced                         
1/2 x 180g pack kale, spinach or pack choi, roughly shredded
2 Garlic cloves, crushed  (i used garlic flakes)                    
8 Semi-dried tomatoes
1tbsp tomato puree                             
750ml hot vegetable stock
290g can Borlotti beans, drained         
75g frozen broad beans (i used sweetcorn)
75g Frozen peas                                 
Few sprigs of fresh thyme (i used dry mixed herbs)

1.heat the oil in a large pan and slowly cook the onion and celery until soft
2. add the shredded greens and garlic, cook for another 2 minutes
3. stir in the tomatoes and puree, add the stock, beans, peas and thyme, simmer for 30 mins

This should serve 4 and has 424 calories per serving, you can serve with parmesan and garlic bread.

I got this recipe from the January Asda magazine and have never normally bothered cooking anything from these free mags but this looked so easy to do and very cheap, it works out about 95p per serving.  I will certainly try other things and will aim to do something new at least once a week.

Right my first person is due anytime soon so need to do a quick sweep of the house and look like I am a very lovely person.

Shellie B