Friday, 12 November 2010

Backward steps

After having quite a few really good days, I am now in some really bad days, all thoughts are negative, no motivation, not looking after myself or eating, each day the post comes I just wonder "why am I struggling to keep above all this?"  My legs and feet are starting to be bad again, I know this is because I am not doing anything again but I just cannot be bothered.

I cant remember the last time I washed my hair or had a bath, dont worry have a wash every day and brush teeth, not that minging, well sort of not.  Not done any washing up all week, did hoover yesterday only because there was more fur on the carpet than on the cats and they were looking a bit jealous.

Benefits are now going to a Tribunal which wont be heard until April next year but thankfully they will keep on paying me until then, I just dont understand the point of it all, surely if my doctor says I am not fit for work then they are the experts, not the JobCentre????

I actually sobbed my heart out about my mum yesterday, I have never let myself lose that much control sober about her before.  My step sister got in contact as my step dad died earlier this year and she found some pictures of mum she thought I might like, they are so beautiful and just makes me miss her so much, always felt so safe around her, posted one below so you can share her beauty with me, its not a very clear copy as this was sent to me via a mobile phone, am waiting to get originals in the post.
Well my benefits finally arrived yesterday so bills are paid for another couple of weeks and then I went and did a bit of shopping, got some more wool as I have decided to make some pretty crochet hats with a flower emblished on them to try and make some money, had a practise go at making one last night, looked lovely if your head was the size of a dogs!!!!!!  So have now ordered a bigger crochet hook, I plan to make a video today showing how to make Mr Blue Bear, I am going to do this one in lavender and put some lavender essential oil drops in the stuffing, bit of an experiement but if it works then I will try to sell them too.

So leaving you all on the only positive note I can think of today, YAY ITS FRIDAY!!!!!
Click on us to see us dance

Shellie B

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